Saturday, 12 May 2012

The Gods Just Ain't With Us!

Probably the only reason the reader might not enjoy such a trip as this in my company would be the incessant wailing of Rock ‘n’ Roll songs most of the way. The repertoire is huge with only brief periods of silence outside of birding. It’s the lyrics as much as the tunes which bring me much inspiration and drive me on to better things. Such was the case today as I was running through the Traffic classic ‘Hole In My Shoe’.
I looked in the sky where an elephant's eye, was looking at me from a bubblegum tree
and all that I knew was the hole in my shoe which was letting in water.

I walked through a field that just wasn't real, with one hundred tin soldiers which stood at my shoulder and all that I knew was the hole in my shoe which was letting in water.

(Narration: I climbed on the back of a giant albatross that flew through a crack in the cloud
to a place where happiness reigned all year round and music played ever so loudly)

I started to fall and suddenly woke and the dew on the grass had soaked through my coat
and all that I knew was the hole in my shoe which was letting in water (letting in water)
(letting in water)

Of course that was it, the way to get over the Google problem was in the words, do you see it yet? Elephants Eye as everyone knows is Cockney Rhyming Slang for Wi Fi and that would be all I needed to try my new innovation to overcome recent problems. I thought the Coast Road had been the ‘Outback’, but I am now far into the ‘interior’ where the world hasn’t changed for centuries and Wi Fi simply hasn’t arrived, but the search was now on. Instead of continuing the course south, I ordered the helmsman “hard a starb’d” and made to cross country back to the Ocean. 100 ‘clicks’ down the road stands the village (they call it a town) of Yalgoo which in itself sounds un-inspirational, but well worth a try.  
As I drove up to the small motel it looked like the cast of the Michael Jackson video ‘Thriller’ Second XI (Rejected As Too Scary) were lent against the ‘hitching rail’ all sucking from the same barrel of ‘amber nectar’! All eyes were turned on me which is fine as under such circumstances I find a ‘f’ up usually softens the blow. Drawing to a halt I fired the gear stick through the box chiselling off about a dozen cogs much to the delight of the audience who broke into a number of profanities such as “can’t you even f’in drive yet”? “Give me another bottle of that rough whisky you sell around here and I’ll show you how to drive” certainly softened the blow as I headed for the bar. The barman (lad), a strapping great hulk, was just biting into his second billiard ball of the evening as I asked him “do you have Wi Fi”. The inane grin was enough, so straight onto Question 2 “do you have any size 3 bones that you put through your nose left”? It was time to leave. Darkness falls rapidly here, and I wasn’t about to undertake another 300Km after nightfall, so spotting a bunch of Road Train drivers parked up for the night shared a little craic with them before reclining the drivers seat.

Having said all of that, I have found a library with FREE Internet Access, started to upload photos and now they have just announced "WE ARE CLOSING IN 10 MINUTES".